Of Timeless Now
Politics? No. Undoubtedly I’m not interested in those less passionate political role-playing games as my dumb life. Because I have no confidence to change the rule of that game, although we fella usually discuss democracy, human rights, or the president like we really care it and can do something. Nope, I’m too weak to wake up myself now. And the precious young is running out.
A lot of youths in the world probably dreamed to be a millionaire quickly, and tried then failed as I did. When I sat down on the edge of acquired autism, I blamed my selfish for everything. Actually the problem now is not "I’m not rich"; it’s "I’m gonna be rich someday… for what?". At the top of the desire pyramid in my heart, self-fulfilled enjoyment is no more important. Social issues are always the paradox for an introvert like me. Most likely, the expression of those true feelings from deep heart to someone would be used as my ultimate success of social recognition. Maybe it was called "Love".
The matter could hardly be put with greater boldness or relevance to my special emotional reflections. It’s meaningless life without a love inside when I know the Miss Right. Certainly, the best love story just exists in fairy tales. The reality we’re facing is more complicated than feelings. I have to admit that the hurt from love is catastrophe to a person whatever it’s strong enough or not.
There’s no tragedy or comedy in a love since the actor and actress direct the play together. And the marriage is unmistakably a variant of what I’m talking about. Thus, my ridiculous theory is, devoting my soul into the love, no regretting, and expecting valueless in the ashes of time.
J’aime trop les gens pour ne pas répugner moi même à leur faire du mal; et les juger, c’est déjà leur faire mal. Aimer, ce n’est pas seulement "aimer bien"; c’est surtout comprendre. — Françoise Sagan
April 16, 2009